


Haunting their Doorstep

by TeamGwenee



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Sorta Christmas Carol AU, With a bit of Love Actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:00:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28215858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee
Summary: One Christmas, Brienne and Jaime find their home repeatedly intruded on by unwanted guests.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 16
Kudos: 62





	Haunting their Doorstep

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a few fics to post over the next few days, all set in the same universe, looking at multiple Christmases in the same community, but they all work as stand alone fics. Hope you enjoy! This is for the Christmas Calendar on JBO.

**Rhaegar's Ghost**

“I wear the chains that I forged in life,” Rhaegar intoned grimly, his silver hair falling in ragged locks as each chain clinked with the slightest movement. Their rattle a twisted song of bells, a mockery of Christmas. “For my selfishness, I will forever carry the weight of my crimes, choked am in my penance.”

Jaime rolled his eyes, tugging his sheets over his bare chest. “For fucks sake Rhaegar. One, this stunt is cowardly, even for you. Speak to Elia yourself. Two, ‘choked am I in my penance? No one speaks like that. Three, Elia still isn’t going to take you back. Whining about how miserable you are isn’t more endearing just because you got some necklaces on, and _four_ , How the fuck did you even get in here?”

Rhaegar shifted uneasily, his links clinking together. “I just thought a _bold_ statement might-”

“You’re not my boss anymore, Rhaegar,” Jaime growled. “Go speak to someone who gives a shit.”

The mournful spectre rattled his way from the room, Jaime listening for the shut of the door before sighing, slumping back down into his pillow.

“Who was that?” Brienne murmured sleepily, half dead from a triple shift at work.

“Rhaegar” Jaime mumbled, pulling Brienne closer. “I blocked him on twitter so he tried speaking to me face to face.”

Brienne nestled her head into Jaime’s shoulder. “Ghosting him hasn’t worked great then?”

**Christmas past**

“Look at the man you used to be. So golden and proud and virile. A true lion. Look at him! He had the world before him. Riches and wonders at his fingertips. Riches we were to share together! Oh, you knew how to love then. You knew how to open your heart, to worship and cherish. But now, coward that you are, you marry this beast! A pathetic grotesque you know you need never put in the effort to keep her close, need never fear losing her to someone better. But once, once you were willing to risk everything, for a chance at true love!”

Cersei slumped over the pictures, scattered across her lap. Even wailing like a banshee, her golden hair caught in the cold winter sun was a thing of beauty. 

Brienne murmured soothingly, even as Cersei ignored her in favour of her ranting. Brienne placed a mug of hot chocolate at her elbow, hoping the warm drink would keep her calm and prevent further outbursts. Shards of shattered glass carpeted the floor like ice, and the last thing Brienne needed was blood stains on the carpet.

“Cersei?”

Brienne quickly put her finger to her lips, quietly shooing Jaime away from their living room and back into the hall. 

“You let Cersei in?” Jaime hissed, lowering his voice so as not to alert his sister to his presence.

Brienne scoffed. “Of course not. She got in herself. I’m just waiting for Kevan to come and get her.”

“Then how did she get inside? I put a bolt on the door and changed the locks after Rhaegar wandered in.”

Brienne sighed. “She broke through the window,” she said ruefully.

Getting a replacement was going to be a _bitch_ at this time of year. 

  
  


**Christmas Present**

Brienne and Jaime exchanged startled looks, each bolting awake at the thunderous crash echoing from their living room. Loud, raucous singing echoed down the hallway, as Brienne and Jaime stumbled from the bed. Brienne grabbed a vase, emptying the flowers onto the bed, and crept to the door. Jaime grabbed his phone and tip-toed behind her. They opened the door, the singing echoing loud and clear.

_“Tis the season to get jolly!_

_Fa la la la la, la la la la._

_Stuff those condoms in your trolley,_

_Fa la la la la, la la la la.”_ _  
  
_

Brienne and Jaime shared mutual sighs of relief. 

“Beloved brother, sweet sister-in law!” Tyrion declared, beaming at the sight of them. “I came to stir you from your sloth. Come now, it is Christmas. Parties and merriment for all, what are you doing laying about in bed? 

Brienne blinked, shaking her head. She looked at the windows, but they seemed perfectly intact. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she made out the black smudges all about Tyrion’s face, staining his perfectly fitted suit.

“Tyrion…” Brienne said cautiously. “Did you break in through our chimney?”  
  


Tyrion looked at the chimney, frowning as though it had only just occurred to him what a novel entrance that was.

“Well,” Tyrion shrugged. “After Cersei, I understand you brought shatter proof windows.” He nodded approvingly at Jaime. “And very wise two, who knows what creeps will try to break into your house.” 

**_Christmas future_ **

  
  


A girl trod light footed along the shadowed hallway, dancing and hopping up the stairs, skipping past each squeaky step and floorboard. THe gentlest of breathing, the slightest rustle of the sack slung across her shoulders, was all that there was to be heard that night. 

She took the door handle and slowly twisted it, easing the bedroom door open, to reveal two slumbering lovers ensconced in each other’s embrace.

A girl took her sack and upturned its contents onto the bed, waking the occupants from their sleep with a jolt and a start.

“Arya!” Brienne gasped, the whites of her eyes flashing with fear. “What are you doing? Is that dirt?” she asked, as Jaime reached over to switch on the bedside light.

“Dirt of the grave,” Arya Stark intoned gravely. “You rest now in beds of feathers and cotton, but one day we will all be sleeping under the warmth and weight of the earth. The years will pass, our youth will fade, our skin will sag and our bones will creak. When all that is joyous in life is gone, and all that is left to us is the wait for our eternal slumber, we will have nought but our memories to remember what it is to feel joy. Yet what memories can we make, to store away for the winters of our lives, when we live in such fear? When our doubts wrap us in chains and deprive us of the greatest thrills this world has to offer.”  
  


Brienne groaned. “Arya, are you _still_ trying to get a motorbike for Christmas? I told you, if you’re mum and dad don’t think it’s safe, I’m not going to try and change their minds.”

“A motorbike, is that what this is about?” Jaime asked. “No wonder your parents won’t get you one. Loathe as I am to agree with the Starks, you will break your neck.”

Arya shrugged. “Valar Morghulis,” she said blithely.

“Go home, Arya,” Brienne said sternly. “We will be talking to your mother about this tomorrow.”

Arya snorted. “Oh year, tell her what? That her daughter somehow broke into a house with a bolted door, shatter-proof windows and a blocked up chimney? Try explaining _that_ to her.”

“Well, we’ll…” Jaime blunstered, his forehead creasing in confusion. “Wait, how _did_ you get in.”

Arya made no response. With a smirk and a shrug, she danced from their bedroom and disappeared into the shadows. And for all that Brienne and Jaime searched the house thereafter, they found no sight of the girl nor any sign of a break in.

“You know,” Jaime puffed, his face red from the exertion of the search. “I think it’s time we start looking for another house.” 

  
  
**Love Actually**

Bathed in streetlight, his lustrous hair aglow, he stood waiting.

He peered up at her window, bouncing on the ball of his feet. Rarely was he moved to such a state. Laughing and laid back, that was him. Not languishing from lovesickness. 

And yet, here he was, moved to a state of utter yearning. A hunger roaring in his stomach like a rabid bear. A hunger for his big, blonde beauty.

He ramped up the music on his cd player, sweet singing blaring out of the speakers. 

The noise lured his beauty to the window, and like an angel she emerged, her white gold hair a heavenly halo.

Slowly, he lifted the first cue card aloft, the words large and clear.

_Big Woman, I want you to ride me until my back is broken and my lungs are bursting._

The second card. 

_I dream about your massive thighs wrapped around my neck, my tongue licking away the sweat from your freckled skin._

And the third.

_Your giant hands buried in my hair.._

_A_ nd the fourth

_suckling on your bite sized teets_

  
  


_A_ nd the fifth, and the sixth, and the seventh, and on it went until at last the magnitude of his grand gesture moved her to speak.

“For fucks sake Tormund!” Brienne called down. “For the last time, quit camping on my lawn or I will call the police!”

And with that, she slammed the window shut and pulled the blinds firmly shut.

“Tormund again?” Jaime groaned, opening his arms for Brienne to slip into.

“Yep,” Brienne mumbled. “At least _he_ didn’t break in. Still, out of the five unwanted guests we’ve had this week, I’m crowning him as the creepiest.” 


End file.
